connection & communication
Our individual journey of healing and expansion results in growing healthier and stronger ‘branches’ in four directions. We connect down into our physical foundation on this planet, in the process of feeling our own heart, senses, and our gut-feeling more deeply. We grow roots and stand strong and tall in our essence, representing a unique part of nature and the planet. We also connect up to our higher wisdom, our intuitive senses, and infinite source. We remember that we are currently living a human experience, but we sense a strong knowing that our consciousness exceeds the limitations of our physical bodies, the material world, and the concept of time. In that journey of consciousness, we identify less with our separate selves in a world of duality, and we experience more moments of unity-consciousness, which in turn increases our compassion for ourselves and everything around us.
The other two branches of expansion are focus on the connection with people around us. We connect outward by expressing ourselves authentically to the people around us and we connect inward by receiving verbal and non-verbal messages from others. Because of our conditioning at an early age, we are often not completely balanced in these directions of connecting outward and inward. As part of the survival mechanisms we developed, we often started performing in ways that we thought would keep us safe and allow us to be more accepted, so we could receive the much-needed attention and love from our family. When the outside world proved to be emotionally unsafe, our hearts (and ears) would have closed themselves over time to prevent the unsafety from affecting us any longer.
We have often grown so used to our conditioned self, that we are convinced that our habitual behavior is a representation of our authentic self. When we go through the process of reconnecting to our authentic self, we are likely to discover that we have been living a lie to some extent. After healing the reasons for showing our inauthentic face to the world, we can start introducing our reclaimed true self to the people in our lives. We become increasingly capable of spontaneous self-expression. We dare to express our longings and desires, regardless of the acceptance and response of the receiver. Also, our boundaries are stated clearly and firmly from a place of healthy self-worthiness.
Once we have reclaimed our authentic self and have healed the emotional wounds that caused our distrust in those around us, we can open our hearts and our energy-field to truly receive again. We develop the ability to relax deeply and be receptive to what others are expressing to us. With open hearts, we can hear what others have to say, without assumptions or calculations. We can let the love and appreciation from others enter our hearts and allow ourselves to feel the impact these gifts have on us. In doing so, we are allowing the others to feel the joy of being received deeply by us. Also, we openly receive criticism and rejections, knowing that an external perspective is simply their perspective and their approval is no longer needed to make us feel a sense of self-worthiness and self-compassion. The connection can then exist in freedom instead of dependency.
When the two directions of connecting inward and outward are well-developed and two people are strongly connected up and down individually, true emotional intimacy can occur and healthy attachments can be formed. There is no need for power struggles, manipulation, dissociation, or other destructive patterns. Both connecting participants are able to take full responsibility for their feelings, their energy, and their well-being. They can express their own needs, desires, and boundaries. They can also acknowledge, honor, and accept those of the other. Individually, they feel complete within themselves, and the joys of connecting offer them something extra. This allows for the connection to maintain a high level of freedom, while honoring shared agreements and intentions. Romantic connections with these ingredients create a space that amplifies healing and transformation and allows for a deeper union with infinite source.
Once our relationships with partners, family, and friends have become emotionally and energetically clean and healthy, the way we engage in conflict shifts drastically. Both people involved are able to remain centered in their bodies, while they express their truth and hear and acknowledge the perspective of the other. They hold space for each other and verify if they have clearly understood the message of the other. Both individuals trust the deeper harmonious foundation of the relationship and they can assist each other in discovering and unraveling what the emotional triggers are trying to reveal to them on their journey. When their nervous system gets overloaded in the process, they know when to take a moment to breathe before re-engaging in conflict resolution. They also know when they need a third party to guide them through certain conflicts or patterns.