receiving other

The ability to genuinely and fully receive the verbal and non-verbal messages that another is sending us requires trust and courage. Someone can send us energy, eye-contact, touch, words, tones, and other expressions that contain a message. The impact of this message can feel good to receive, but it can also feel painful and intense. Many of us have closed our hearts and energy-field as a method to protect ourselves from the potentially painful impact of such messages. And often, we came to this unconscious conclusion when we experienced traumatic events in our childhood. The safe shield has successfully protected our vulnerable essence and heart, but it has also made it impossible for us to truly connect with another.

For real connection, there needs to be a certain level of surrender, an opening, and the sense of distrust is preventing that surrender. As a result, we might take part in interactions where our bodies are present, but our focus is not there. We might listen to the words being spoken to us, but we don’t hear and process the content of the message. We could receive physical touch but be so dissociated from our senses that we hardly notice it. Someone could be gazing deep into our eyes and we might be looking the other way every chance we get. For the person that is sending the message and is eager to connect with us, this results in an experience of rejection, instead of the gift of knowing their message was received.

An effective step in the process of opening ourselves to receive messages from others more deeply is to start noticing when we dissociate or contract instead of remaining present and relaxed in our interactions. We could make it a habit to verbalize this realization, as this assists us in bringing our awareness back into the present moment and into our hearts. We can then also reflect on what is causing the impulse to withdraw ourselves from the connection. Usually, we might feel that certain people will ‘take’ something from us, or ‘push’ us in a certain direction. Often these suspicions are related to our interactions with one or more family members and the role we played in our family system.

When we have one or several close connections in our life that are equally committed to their individual healing and expansion journey, a safe space can be created to practice with each other. We can assist each other in discovering the underlying patterns and beliefs that are at the root of the contraction and distrust. At the same time, there is space to experiment with receiving the message of the other more deeply and to notice the impact of receiving on our nervous system, on our heart, and on the connection itself. The art of receiving can also be practiced in other settings, such as during massage therapy, during a joyful interaction on the dance-floor, and during intimate moments with a loving partner. Receptivity is an essential aspect of the feminine energy, that needs to be re-balanced in individuals and the collective after many centuries of suppressed feminine energy.